• Andrew
• Dec 7,2007
• In: News

I want to “ride” my bicycle…

Robert Stewart, 51, has been sentenced to three years probation after he was found attempting to have sex with his bicycle in his bedroom by cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr (UK). They knocked on the door several times and being there was no reply they used a master key to come in on their own. However, it must have really been the “master” key for they found him naked from the waist down and moving in a way as to simulate sex. The cleaners who were shocked by their find reported it to the hostel manager who called police.

“In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a ‘cycle-sexualist’” said Sheriff Colin Miller.

Stewart claimed that his actions were the result of a misunderstanding after having too much to drink. However I call it lulz on a large scale.

Edit: This news is a few weeks old at the time I posted this, but I’ll keep it up anyway for those who haven’t yet heard of this.