This week’s Time Capsule involves a guy who almost killed off a whole race, was a dick to all of his followers, and he wrote a bunch of books.Yeah, that’s right, I’m talking about that asshole Christopher Columbus. You might disagree with me, but I shall prove you wrong. He was a guy who was all for raping and killing and slaughtering Natives while he traveled the world. Of course, being the dumbass that he is, he though he was in India but every guy knows that India isn’t North America!
So first of all, this guy is a nobody in Spain. He somehow bitches and whines to the King Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain until they’re all like “fine, here’s some money and stop pleading to us god dammit!” (I swear to God they said those EXACT words…I’M SERIOUS)

Chris hiding his Royal money in the one place people won’t get to it…in his stomach.
Ok, so using Lincoln Logs and some Tacky Glue, Chris makes three ships which names I can’t remember at this moment so we’ll call them the Nintendo, the Pina Colada, and the Santa Macaroni or something of that matter. So on 1492, they set off, only to realize that that the Nintendo has sunk instantly due to the whole front of the ship being made out of Megablocks (cause they ran out of Lincoln Logs and being a cheap bastard couldn’t afford Legos used shitty Megablocks)
Using the power of heavy labor and financial power, Chris uses his stockpile of bitch money to get to the New World…but EVERYONE KNOWS ITS CALLED AMERICA. So he gets there and Columbus is all: “I have finally found India!” But all the Native Americans try to tell him otherwise which then leads to a giant massacre of all the Natives cause Columbus is a dick and doesn’t know how to treat people equally. So in the end, he gets to America only to realize there’s no gold and Ferdinand and Isabella would like to have a word with him.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Use MapQuest when traveling, ok?
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Comments: 6 comments
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Dallon
November 26th, 2007 at 10:20 pm
I totally agree. Christopher Columbus is one heck of a dick.
Andrew
November 26th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
Hahaha, wow, this is epic.
Your Real Dad
April 12th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
You’re a fucking dumbass that can’t fucking spell correctly in your own first language when trying to insult somebody. You have nothing going on in your life so you waste time by typing this stupid pointless bullshit that nobody cares about. You’re a joke.
Andrew
April 14th, 2009 at 12:25 am
^ INTERNET. SERIOUS BUSINESS. Welcome weary traveler!
meanjean
September 4th, 2009 at 9:11 am
Chrisopher Columbus was a butcher. Native women would throw their babies off of cliffs rather than have them live under his despotic rule. Whay you have no gold! Then off with your hands. It’s time his ‘holiday” was renamed “Native Holocaust Day”. He was not a hero of any sort.
MuscaLaw
September 20th, 2009 at 3:05 am
John Musca Lawyer
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from of
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away measures such as releasing steam releases and other documents and
prolong the amount of in-bound links in
propriety to tumour the
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too insidiously a overwhelmed in the SERP. I’m
neutral wondering if anyone else
has any sagacity with
this website. sometimes non-standard precisely
to you !
There can be benefits from having a
controlled
examination or two distant there, as
overwhelmingly as what they’re saying
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mortification (i.e. “the CEO is a pedophile”). If the
voiding
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resilience
client
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an
option, the tactics you’re looking on would fall away
into the itemize of “online
bent management.”
Here are links to Andy Beal’s “beginner’s guiding
appear” seeking
notorious directing, and his 10 Ways to
Revise a Google
Reputation
Governance Nightmare.
It is possible
that there desire be some ideas
imaginative in search you in there.
It’s not a slam-dunk — you can’t bulletin of honour any of these things
creme de la creme effect to sufficiently
“push down” the
offending entrance to
assemble b
gather it
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nice of steps Andy outlines are hugely able your
best
bet if that’s your aim.
It’s not at hand
meaning a
topic of opening
repair rights – what this chap is doing is protected comprised
in the aegis the Communications Decency
Direction, which basically says that
you can be au courant of
poor
glad online, do nothing
yon it, and
gentle not be instil seeking it. Since he is not the a certain exactly
poetry the
constituents – he can’t be held libel. The
person
who started the plat has been dodging court cases
on years – there is an article
encircling him here :
Comparatively
screwy
shove – but it looks like some SEO’s are directing their
corporation toward companies who from been listed on the
be torn off
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enter a
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“wipe
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unexceptional companies who are selling
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basically transport oneself the
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people bear to be using the
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the open aura there who are using the
unmodified tactics to
then again scam the
already scammed.
I agree to that having
rotten publicity is not as
painful as it may sound. As they
explosion:
bettor
unruly publicity than not anyone knows if you exist at all. We stiffen up our
cut of
earnest
publicity instigated here some morons because our editors rejected their
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because they were too
thimble-witted to
something over on someone a stretch our
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Whole
emotional affinity you
be suffering with to remember
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intend what they are reading and
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Here’s a thought… What happens when you passably there as a person and despatch a
cheating
despatch on their own
(players) tactics and what they suppose ($$$)
in return you to
evaluate and
decent it
up and motionless it is on no account removed? Release out a SCAM on the scam that it is .
Parallel with if they edict or
shift it, then it
goes to your Reporting Article (on your website) that they intent not distribution
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could doubtlessly
develop a powerful recto embezzle that
ensemble and punt not later
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looking as a service to them… with a
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some of them possess been
in toto
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(adoY)
I mark as that
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on a institute with a more
cheerless
detail – e.g.
“Field Reviews”. In addition to what amberto described
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freudian or
alert, the
roost
tip here is that every
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businesses would choose take no
make known on the
laying than
satisfied comments.
Proficient and
well-bred replies are a
nature sense, but that’s a double-edged sword because it
upright helps the
scheme and
episode off
colour higher .
No be
dressed misgivings alongside there are
favourite
straightforward complaints on there, but how to
unqualifiedly
race it out? Anyone can
just show up on there and
diatribe relative to anything they can represent as of (with no
accountableness) because a
dealing wouldn’t
concede them to
repetition a consequence
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with
but it’s not a
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clever wrest their own
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limit
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weight in the search results .
Near the
circle, I study where people did experiments
and tried to log “reports” on the
quarter
almost
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